The “Why You Didn’t Get a Christmas Card” Edition…

{Originally posted on Brokenness into Beauty}

This post has been rolling around in my head for over a year now, which is fairly believable to you all since I haven’t written here much in about two years; right?

Just know – it’s not you; it’s me.

I don’t even know where to begin. I shared our tainted hope, my begging God for more miracles, and painful transparency as our family held on by a thread. And yet, when that final thread broke, I was too afraid to share it with you – fear of judgment, fear of saying the words out loud, fear of admitting to myself the reality of it all.

So I hid. I abandoned both the blogs that guaranteed a circle of friends and followers, and prayer warriors, and I hid in the shadows for nearly two whole years. And two years of life and changes happened to us and around us, and I have no idea where to begin to catch you all up.

When it came time to send out Christmas cards last year, I chose to hide once again. Normally we send cutesy family photos out with holiday greetings to piles and piles of people in our past and present. But last year, I couldn’t bring myself to take a family photo with one person missing, to write the holiday greeting and leave his name off.

A year and lots of healing and processing later, it’s time to rip the bandaid off, folks.

The short version -

I am now a single mother of three amazingly challenging, strong and resilient children. And we are now back in our little corner of North Georgia, not in the house we loved, but just down the road. And life goes on. Survival mode is almost a thing of the past. The blessings far outweigh the bad, though there are still days we all might forget that a little. But God is good, and faithful, and holds us all tight in His hands.

The rest of the details are… well,… personal. Understand that, if you please. Judge, if you must. Love and pray for us, if you will.

Oh… And Christmas cards will be going out soon.

Comments

  1. Sandy Desaulniers says

    I understand what you’ve been through, I’ve been through divorce and also a recent breakup. I pray for you and your family. No judgement from me at all. As you said life goes on. I too, need to let go and let my life go on and just lean on God, and enjoy all the blessings he has bestowed upon me; he is good and faithful. Thank you sooo much for your message. God Bless and may you and your family have a very happy joyous Christmas with many blessings in the coming New Year!!!

    • Mandy says

      Sandy, thank you for your comment! Letting go is so much easier said then done, and it is a daily struggle for me, even now. But God is good, and faithful. He keeps providing strength and blessings, and just enough guidance to get me through today. I pray the same for you! Enjoy the holiday season, and may the New Year be filled with many more blessings and “new beginnings” for us both!

  2. Jane H. says

    I would never judge you….I have not walked this path, but I have walked many paths of pain where people have judged. I will pray for you and your children as you continue taking your days step by step holding onto our Saviors hand. God bless you.

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